hasta que no pueda (2023)

for amplified sinfonietta and keyboard sampler

length: 7 mins

One of my most constant fears in life, it’s reaching the day when my mother can’t hear me or listen to music. She has congenital hearing loss and I still clearly remember the day when I as a kid understood what that meant. The terrifying thought of her one day not being able to understand me or be able to enjoy music has always been a persistent but seemingly distant dread, but a lot of that has become more imminent recently. The past year we received the news that her hearing loss reached 50 percent in one ear. After that moment, even in the most mundane situations in life, I often think about “how would my mom listen to this?” with the help of a website that simulates the eﬀect of diﬀerent types of hearing loss, this piece strives to answer that question.

The piece takes short samples of many songs that I didn’t necessarily like, but that my mom used to listen to a lot when we were growing up, and reimagines them through a ﬁltered and maximalist lens. Sonically, the piece slowly morphs from a muted and dark soundscape into a brightly colored and vibrant texture that mirrors my mother’s congenital chronic condition.